Want to improve your marriage or intimate relationship when the sex isn’t great? Go to a sex therapist or a therapist/counselor with training and skills in sex therapy. For couples counseling, therapists without training in sex therapy or sexuality don’t always have the skills needed to successfully help answer sex related questions or fix sexual problems.
If you have ever thought of going to couples therapy, sex therapy, or talking to someone about improving your sexual relationships, this article http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201312/no-sex-in-school explains why it is important for you to make sure the counselor or therapist you are considering is skilled in doing sex therapy.
Most Psychotherapists and Marriage Family Therapists have very little training in sex therapy.
Just because a counselor or therapist is having sex doesn’t make them qualified to do sex therapy or help people fix their sexual problems. So make sure the person you are working with feels comfortable talking about sex and is knowledgeable about how to treat sexual problems common with couples.
Do you know how to ask for what you want sexually from your partner? Do you even know what you want in the bedroom?
Most people are uncomfortable talking about sex – let alone their sexual problems or concerns – this includes people coming into therapy wanting their sexual problems solved. Therapists are taught to bring up the topic of sex in therapy with clients but I have had couples come to me for sex therapy with the complaint that they previously went to a counselor or therapist and sexual issues were never brought up and the client didn’t feel comfortable bringing sexual problems up themselves.
One basic benefit of having training in sex therapy is it helps therapists feel more comfortable talking about sexual problems, issues, and concerns.
In our culture we learn many mixed messages about sex and we as therapists need to have the training to identify what sexual hang ups we carry around with us so that we can have the insight to know when it is impacting our work with a client for better or worse.
Now go have sex!